Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
id be glad to
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
