...so i touched it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
