I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
