oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Alive.
So much puke
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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