the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
