Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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