I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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