everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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