I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
