Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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