i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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