After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Pants are for mortals
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