We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
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Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
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As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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