well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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