An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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