Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
