no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
