one two three fourrrrnication!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
