But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry my hands just texted you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
