Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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