dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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