She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
