She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
this will be a night to untag.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
