1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
