she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
