What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
