Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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