If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my shit smells like andre
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
