so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
