this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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