we made out on top of his cat.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
