I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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