yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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