your parents love me but you hate me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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