Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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