It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
God, I missed his penis.
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