I bet he comes in French.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
