my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
