All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
