Whod you bang
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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