to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
