i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
