can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
