Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
being pregnant is like rehab
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They took my balls.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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