i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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