I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
