Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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