I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
