it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
