I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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