Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
