ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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