I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
