so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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