sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
