What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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