I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize