Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
