"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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