Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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