they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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