The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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