he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
