I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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