take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
